Advanced Cigarette Smoking

Advanced Cigarette Smoking


The Dark Roast: When you've accidentally soaked one in a puddle of spilled beer and you roast it over the stove like a fine coffee to dry out the paper before smoking.

Raiders of the Lost Duke: Rifling through the ancient burial grounds of cigarettes past (ashtrays) for half-smoked cigarettes.

The Frankenstein: Emptying out the un-smoked tobacco from a couple old cigarettes and putting them in a new rolling paper.

The MacGyver: Fixing a broken cigarette with Scotch tape.

The Anne Frank: Hiding in a closet at a party because way too many deadbeats have been hitting you up for smokes all night.

The Mellencamp: When you can't find a lighter and you have to stick your face dangerously close to the lit stove top coils to light a cigarette. Works better with no shirt on.

The Sistine Chapel: When neither smoker has a lighter yet one cigarette is already lit and the two the must come together to create the spark of life.

The Old Standby: Smoke for thirty or so years, get cancer, die.